Wontons and Waiting

“My friend Bethany called last night to tell me she got engaged,” Jackie said. “Last week Roxanne called to say she was having a baby and the night before I got an email from Jennifer saying her and Branson are getting married in May. What is the deal? Everyone I know is either married, getting married or having kids, and I can’t even stay amused by the same guy for more than two months. I think I have a serious problem.”

The rest of us just stared motionless at Jackie, confused and stunned by the words coming out of her mouth. Independent, self-consumed, Jackie never talked like this. It is normal for most women to feel down and questionable about their love life when everyone else around them seems to be moving forward, but Jackie was never one of those women. If anything, I always thought of her to think of herself as lucky to not be tied down to one person.

“I know what you mean,” Kim finally broke the silence, “almost every girlfriend I have is now wearing a ring on her finger or pushing a stroller, and here I am, bare handed.”

“I can’t believe it bothers you, Jackie,” I said, being completely honest and trying to figure out my chopsticks. “I mean Kim, I understand. Mainly because she never lets us forget how ready she is to be married, but you, I always thought of you as living and loving the single life.”

“I know,” she replied, “crazy, huh. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to slit my wrists over this or anything, but it does make me feel like maybe I am stuck in a rut.”

“A rut?” Kate chimed in. “What the hell are you talking about? You have a different guy every time we meet up, and you always have the most entertaining stories. I would rather listen to your love life than watch The Hills.”

“I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not,” Jackie said. “Believe it or not, I do want to meet ‘the one’ someday soon and that be it. I enjoy the party, going out, living it up life, but I have the dream of wearing a white dress just like every other girl.”

“If it helps, think about how many friends you have who are already divorced,” Holly said. “That’s what I do when I get the single blues. I know of at least four girls that I was close to in high school who are now divorced from their high-school sweethearts. Two of them have kids. How crappy would that be?”

“I haven’t really thought about that,” Jackie said, dousing her wonton with soy sauce. “It could always be worse, but I have dated a lot of guys and none of them have turned out to be worth a commitment. It makes me wonder if there is actually anyone out there for me to grow old with, and I am scared of doing it alone.”

“This is making me sad,” I said. “You never are down like this, Jackie. I want my fun-loving, carefree Jackie back. The one that is comfortable with her life and believes that as long as you are happy, everything will fall into place.”

“I know, I am sorry I am such a mood buster tonight,” Jackie said. “It is just that I was by myself last night and got lonely and had to listen to how happy and wonderful everyone else is and it made me so sad. I am just glad that I had you guys to come be with tonight, and I just need to get some of this off my chest. You all know that I never let these kinds of feelings out.”

“Then you get after it,” Kim said. “Heaven knows if I don’t vent like that then I become an emotional mess. Brian hates when I bitch and moan, but he knows it is better than the uncontrollable crying alternative.”

“Well, you all know how much I analyze and worry about situations,” I said, “and I am really bad about not talking to Blake about it and then being grouchy to him when I really need to vent and put all my thoughts and feeling out in the open for him to know about.”

“What do you worry about?” Holly asked me. “You and Blake seem perfect.”

“Hardly,” I said, “I worry about how we will be financially if we get married, where we will live, if he can make me happy everyday the rest of our lives, and if I can do the same for him. I try so hard to take it day by day and just be happy, but I can’t always do that. I am too much of a planner and have to know how things are going to be in advance. It is just my nature, my damn un-fun nature.”

“At least you have someone to call and come over when you’re lonely,” Jackie told me, “and a positive prospect that is husband material.”

“Oh, Jackie,” Kate said, “you have a blackberry full of people to call when you’re lonely.”

“Yeah, if I need a booty call,” Jackie said, “but I don’t have any guys in there that I could get to come over and have a real heart-to-heart conversation with. If I need to talk about my feelings, work, or stuff that’s bothering me then I call one of you guys. Not that I don’t love being able to do that, but I do wish I could talk about all that in the arms of some guy telling me it is all going to be alright.”

“I know what you mean,” Holly said. “Even I get like that. Not very often, but after a really bad day at school or after I find out that someone close to me has passed away, I need a good man to hold me.”

“I never thought I’d hear either of you talking like this,” I said.

“Well, what can I say,” Holly said, biting into a wonton as half of the filling fell back on her plate. “Sometimes a girl needs a little more than unemotional loving.”

“Maybe so,” Kate said, “but I would recommend you girls living up your independence while you can, because once Mr. Right comes along there is no turning back. You will know it is him on that first date, and believe me, he will consume you from then on.”

“Do you really believe that?” I asked her.

“Absolutely,” she told me. “Why, do you not feel that way with Blake?”

“Well, I know that it felt like we had been dating for years after that first night,” I said, “and I was already comfortable with him from the moment I met him, so I guess you’re right. I am just too cautious to believe in the whole love at first sight logic. I wish I was more carefree about it all, but like I said earlier, I’m not. Guess I can blame it on too many failed relationships, otherwise known as ass holes.”

“I just know that I am getting tired of waiting for my Mr. Right,” Jackie said. “I wish he would RSVP or something. I just need to know that someone is going to show up and give me a reason to eat a wedding cake that I haven’t cut myself.”

Lexi’s Baked Wontons

8 oz. ground pork
½ c. shredded carrot
¼ c. finely chopped celery
¼ c. finely chopped water chestnut
1 tbsp. soy sauce
2 tsp. cornstarch
2 tsp. grated ginger root
½ of (16 oz.) pkg. wonton wrappers
2 tbs. olive oil
Sweet and sour sauce (for dipping)
Soy Sauce (for dipping)
Ginger sauce (for dipping)

In skillet, cook ground meat until browned. Stir in carrots, celery, and water chestnuts, soy sauce, cornstarch and ginger root. Cook 2 minutes while stirring.

Put one rounded teaspoon of filling in the middle of each wonton wrapper. Lightly brush edges with water. To shape the wontons, carefully bring 2 opposite points of the square wrapper up over filling and pinch together in center. Do the same with the 2 remaining opposite points of the wonton wrapper. Firmly pinch together all edges to seal.

Place wontons on greased cookie sheet. Brush with olive oil. Bake at 375 degrees for 8-10 minutes until light and crisp. Serve with sauces. Makes 25 servings.