Calzone Confessions

“So I told Joe I was cheating on him yesterday,” Jackie said.

“How did that go,” Kim asked. “Did he flip out?”

“No, not really, he didn’t seem all that surprised.” Jackie jumped from guy to guy so often that she sometimes forgot to dismiss one before moving on to another. What some may refer to as cheating. What Jackie thought of as bad multi-tasking.

“You sound disappointed,” Kate said to Jackie, and I had to agree she did.

“Well, it isn’t like I wanted to break the poor guy’s heart, but he didn’t seem hurt at all,” Jackie said, picking off a mushroom from her calzone and popping it in her frowning mouth. “It just made me think that maybe he had a nice little side dish, too, and maybe I was just another number he dialed from his contacts list.”

This little statement, in addition to Jackie’s pouty attitude, made me think, why are guys so much more desirable once we think we have competition for them? And more so, when we think they are now out of our reach?

“So now you regret getting with Nelson and want Joe all to yourself?” I asked.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Jackie threw her hands in the air before leaning back in my red leather chair and crossing them. “It is stupid really, but I just want to know that I am in charge of the relationship and he is the one pining over me. It is that whole ‘don’t know how much you like what you have until you don’t have it’ thing.”

“Exactly what I was thinking,” I told her.

“So did ya’ll break up for good,” Holly asked, “or was it more of a ‘ok, whatever let’s just see each other AND other people’ sort of thing.”

“I don’t know how anyone can stay in a relationship like that,” Kate chimed in, tearing off a piece of calzone and twisting the melted cheese until it finally broke off. “I mean how do you not worry about your competition being better than you in bed, in conversations, at kissing, at everything?”

“Just know you are the best,” Holly always came off sounding self-assured, but we all knew her well enough to not be fooled by her shield of bitchyness.

“No woman is truly going to have that attitude without the man leaving all his other women to only have her in his life,” Kate said. “It is beyond our character. We need to be told and shown what we want to believe before we honestly convince our minds.”

“Sadly, I have to agree,” I said. “Women talk strong all the time, but it really is just a pep-talk to themselves and nothing more than a lie.”

They all shook their heads in agreement, and we all knew it was true. Women lie about being fine and over guys all the time, and then go shut themselves in their bedroom and cry until they finally breakdown and call the guy then hate themselves for it later. Worse case scenario, they call the ex-lover and confess how miserable they are without him. Doesn’t sound like the fine and over him woman who had lunch with her girls a few hours earlier.

“I don’t know why I am upset about it,” Jackie said. “It isn’t like I loved Joe or don’t have someone to replace him. It is just the thought of him not even caring that we are over. Seriously, he just kind of shrugged and said, ‘ok, well whatever.’ No emotion at all!”

“I’m sure he expected a breakup to come at some point and was prepared for it,” I told her. “It isn’t necessarily a sign that he was playing you, just that he was prepared to get played. You know how some girls have accepted to simply be pawns in the relationship game and are fine with that, some guys are surely to be the same. They are just happy to get laid from time to time and still be in the game.”

“But Joe is hot,” Jackie said. “I’m sure he could sleep with girls whenever he wants. When I think about those who are just happy to be in the game, I think of balding accountants or computer geeks.”

“I dated an accountant once,” Holly said, and all I could think is ‘this should be interesting.’ “He was always on a schedule. He scheduled phone calls, dinner, sex, everything. And you all know me, totally not a schedule person. I hated it. I am all about being spontaneous, and there is nothing hot about sex when it has a set time and place. Needless to say that didn’t last, and I had to ask him when I could schedule our breakup. He didn’t find that as funny as I did.”

I just rolled my eyes and shook my head at Holly. “So what are you going to do?” I asked turning back to Jackie. “Do you want to stay with Joe now?”

“Well I called him last night and told him I really regretted kissing Nelson and only want to be with him,” Jackie kept her eyes done and picked at the vegetables in her calzone. “But he said that he didn’t think it was a good idea and wants to go out with other girls. So I told him I could do better and be better and make him happy. To which he just said, 'it's ok, let's just move on'.”

“What? That doesn’t sound like you at all!” Kate said. “You never get upset or have trouble moving on.”

“I know! I hate feeling this way and I hate myself for letting him know that I am upset and want him back.” Jackie said. “I gave him complete control of the situation and made a complete fool out of myself. I just don’t want to think that he opted for something better than me.”

“No one likes to be replaced, but you just have to move on and replace him,” I said, “and in case you have forgotten, you did that before you even broke up with Joe.”

“I know you are right,” Jackie sighed. “I just hope whatever skank he is with now sucks in bed.”

My Calzones

2 cans refrigerated crescent rolls
1 small jar spaghetti sauce
1 small can mushrooms
½ c. green bell pepper
½ c. chopped onion
½ c. sliced Canadian bacon
¼ c. black olives
½ c. mozzarella cheese
Grated parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease a large cookie sheet. Unroll crescents on sheet and place the long edges of two triangles together. Press the long edges together. Spread equal amounts of spaghetti sauce on each side of the crescent. Sprinkle Mozzarella cheese on one half of the crescent along with veggies and meat. Top off by sprinkling parmesan cheese on top. Fold over the crescent half with nothing but sauce on it and press all edges together. Bake about 20 minutes or until golden brown. Delicious! Yields 8 calzones.