Fights and Frito Salad

“Well Brian and I had another fight last night,” Kim said as she stabbed at her lettuce with a silver fork. “It seems like that is all we do since he got this new job. I never see him during the week since our schedules clash, and on the weekends all he does is sleep or golf with his boys.”

“Sounds like you need to do some major communication work,” Kate told her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kim said, pouting. “I always tell him how I feel.”

I laughed a little, earning a scary look from Kim. “What was that for?” She sneered at me.

“Oh, come on, Kim,” I said, “you are the worlds worst at not telling Brian what is bugging you while acting mad and bitchy to him. You expect him to figure it out like a game of Clue.”

“She’s right,” Jackie said, backing me up. “You need to be completely honest with him. Let him know that you are feeling neglected and want to spend more time with him.”

“I have told him that,” Kim said. “That’s why we fight all the time. I tell him he never wants to hang out with me any more. He tells me he does but his work is crazy right now and on the weekends he just wants to relax and have fun. Blah, blah, blah.”

“Sounds like he is seeing another woman,” Holly said, shoveling a huge fork-full of salad in her mouth.

“Shut up, Holly,” Jackie said. “He is not.”

“Geez, loosen up,” Holly shot back. “I was just kidding. You know he will finally break-down and propose someday. Just give him an ultimatum. At least two date nights a week or no sex. That ‘no sex’ always gets a guy’s attention.”

“I don’t want to force him to do something he doesn’t want to,” Kim said, “and as for that ‘no sex’ part, it hasn’t seemed to bother him lately. It has been two weeks, and I swear I am craving it more than he is. It sucks.”

“Oh, honey, just wait,” Kate said, laughing, “the fights will get worse and the sex will get better. Just make amends at the end of each fight and make the ‘make up’ worth it. You have to play the system. Hell, sometimes I now start fights with Jon just to make up. I know I am going to lose the battle before I even start it, but actually we both win in the end.”

“Damn, you’re good,” Jackie said, looking at Kate with admiration. “You really have that whole relationship, married thing figured out don’t you.”

“Never,” Kate laughed. “I don’t think anyone does or ever will, and I don’t want too. It would take too much fun out of it. The surprises, unknowns, and conflicts are what tests a relationship and makes it stronger. Just like this, Kim, I know you may not realize it now, but this little episode is really a great thing for you and Bryan. It will make you closer in the end.”

“Well I wish it would hurry up and be over,” Kim said with a sigh. “Right now it feels like we are on completely different pages.”

“Maybe you are right now,” I told her. “You can’t be side-by-side on all issues all the time. Your different views and interests are what will broaden each others way of thinking and outlook on things. Right now, Brian is focused on work and you are focused on your relationship. Sometime down the line, like when your recitals come along, you may be focused on work and he’ll want to spend every free moment with you. It has happened in the past, you know.”

“Yeah, your right, I guess,” Kim said. “It just sucks right now and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Back off,” Holly said, “I promise, the moment you back off from it, he’ll want to be with you more. Mainly because you won’t be bitching him out.”

“True,” Jackie said, shaking her fork in Holly’s direction. “Guys hate nagging. Quit nagging and you’ll get laid.”

“Well, if anyone knows how to get laid it is you, Jackie,” Kim said, finally breaking a smile and lightening up.

“That’s right,” Jackie said, “and you don’t hear me complaining about anything.”

Kate’s Frito Salad

1 lb. lean hamburger meat
1 head iceberg lettuce chopped up
1 can Ranch Style Beans, drained and rinsed
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
½ cup diced tomatoes
½ cup diced green bell pepper
2-3 cups Frito Chips
1 small bottle Catalina salad dressing

Brown hamburger meat, salt and pepper to taste, drain. Put chopped lettuce in large bowl, add meat, beans, cheese, and veggies. Toss until well blended. Add Fritos and toss. Add the Catalina dressing right before serving so chips don’t get soggy.